ES2007S- Professional Communication

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Elaine's Biodata

I am currently an undergraduate majoring in Chemistry in the Faculty of Science of the National University of Singapore. Wanting to gain global exposure and to broaden my horizon, I went for a Summer Exchange Programme to University of Toronto in Canada.

As a music enthusiast, I joined the concert band in my Secondary School and Junior College. Being the clarinet section leader and quartermaster of the band in Junior College has helped me to hone my leadership and communication skills.

I have several work experiences in the service industry, building on my ability in fostering positive interpersonal relationship.

posted by Elaine Lim at 3:17 PM

6 Comments:

  • I feel that you have done a great job in using the 7Cs for your biodata. It is concise and clear as you have covered quite a lot of achievements in such a short paragraph. Cohesion and coherence are also achieved using transition words like “as a musical enthusiast,”.

    Maybe you can improve your biodata by elaborating more about your personalities by putting in adjectives to describe yourself more.

    By Blogger Wen Jie, At October 18, 2008 at 4:32 PM  

  • Hi Elaine,
    you have wrote a clear and great biodata about yourself. From the biodata, it gives me a clear views of your achievements, and the skills that you have gained in the process.

    I also agreed with Wen Jie that you should talk a bit about your personabity.

    Great Job!

    By Blogger PeiPei, At October 19, 2008 at 9:24 PM  

  • Hi Elaine,

    It was a real pleasure reading your biodata. It was clear and the tone used was appropriate too. From your biodata, I get to know that you are a music enthusiast. There are definitely many aspects about yourself, which I’m sure you would love to share so that many readers including me will get to know you better:) Perhaps you can also include your personal interests and future direction. Apart from that, very well done!

    Cheers
    Seow Teng

    By Blogger Seow Teng, At October 20, 2008 at 12:23 AM  

  • Hi Elaine,

    It is obvious that you have placed much emphasis on clarity as your biodata is very simple and easy to understand.

    And I disagree with Seow Teng's point that your direction is lacking. You have already established in your last sentence that you hope to build on your people skills by joining the service industry.

    Cheers!
    nic

    By Blogger Unknown, At October 20, 2008 at 1:29 AM  

  • Hi Elaine,

    Your biodata was clear and concise and it has highlighted some of the skills you have acquired through the programmes you had participated in. I am sure that the skills you have will be useful in the future.

    I also agree with Wen Jie and Peipei that including some of your personality traits will be a good idea since it helps capture the readers' attention.

    By Blogger Xue Xin, At October 20, 2008 at 6:58 PM  

  • Thanks, Elaine, for your biodata. I think you should have focused more on your skills and/or achievements. For example, for the second sentence you could have left out the first part of the sentence and told us instead the skills learned/developed as a result of the summer exchange programme. Likewise, I would have liked to know the kinds of work experience you have from working in the service industry :-)

    By Blogger grace kim, At October 21, 2008 at 2:02 AM  

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